belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
this hospital has no fireball
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
