Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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