Porn is love you can see.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
