Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
