Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
