Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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