so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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