sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize