angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
