There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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