you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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