I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
just tell him i said nine months
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
