that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I still have a little drunk in my system
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
