I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
