we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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