god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
