I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
