If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
