I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize