Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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