he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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