shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
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