Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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