What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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