I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
