At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
