do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
