It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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