I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
