We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
