Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
sex in a hospital.. check
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
