Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
you had me at cake vodka
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize