Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
