Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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