The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Randomize
