If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
operation have a gay friend backfired
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
