Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Sorry my hands just texted you
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize