i just had sex bonerless
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Green mimosas i think yes
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize