please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
