the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
