Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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