Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
