So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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