I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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