Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
