how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
