i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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