Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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