yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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