ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
