We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
