Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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