That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize