my mouth tastes like poor choices
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
