We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
