I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
