i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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