can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
